I did it! But not at all in the way I had anticipated. My goal was to learn a volume of piano music. I was so keen in the beginning. I typed every song in a spreadsheet and for about 7 days I practiced and diligently ticked off the days and piano pieces on my spreadsheet. It felt good.
I’m the mother of 3 children under 8 and I have a business. I’m busy like many people, but this goal I’d set seemed achievable. It was something worth doing that was just for me.
Unless of course you are also in the 9th year of a marriage and you had just realised you were only staying for the children. Around the time I began my 100 day journey this became my realisation.
Everyday I’d see the email come in and to begin with I thought, ‘that’s okay, I’ll get back to my piano soon.’ Day 34 still nothing. ‘this is not going to happen now. I’ve lost it.’ Day 68, still nothing.
However it dawns on me that maybe I could leave my husband. Maybe the kids will be okay if we always live close by to him. You see, divorce was NEVER going to happen to me. It happened to my parents and there is no way I was going to fail at this marriage.
Day 71. A big bust up, I’ve got to leave him for the safety and sanity of myself and my kids. I tell him. He begs me to stay. I retreat….but I make a plan.
Day 79, I gather my support networks and I take a few things and the kids and I go. It feels so liberating. I don’t have to walk on egg shells anymore or worry if I’ve made the dinner right.
Then after a few days it gets very hard. We can’t find a house to rent. We are relying on the support of friends to put us up. The breakup is so devastating for all of us. I’m so defeated. I consider going back to him. Afterall he says he still loves me. He has our home. I feel like I have gone from bad to worse.
Then we stay for a couple of weeks on a horse property. My kids get to experience being present with these beautiful animals whose day job it is to assist the mentally disabled. I find peace here. A strength and resilience in myself I didn’t know I had.
Very quickly things change. I feel more positive. More houses come up for rent. Then on Day 97 we are approved for a house. We are over the moon! Day 99 we move into this beautiful farmhouse where the kids can run and play and just be. They are surrounded by nature and spaciousness and they are so happy and so am I.
This brings me to today. Just a few minutes ago I farewelled my mother who is going 3000kms back to her home in Tasmania. She’s been a great support at this difficult time. I close the door and I hear how silent the house is with the kids at their dad’s.
I hear a beep. It’s Julia’s email coming through… and it’s Day 100!
As I put my phone down and walked into the kitchen I thought to myself, ‘I did it didn’t I?’ I made it. In my own way I reached my goal. I had a major life change and I survived. Not only that, I found happiness!
I remembered something Julia said in one of the first emails on this journey. She said…’your goals may change along the way and that is fine.’ Well mine certainly did!
I believe that I put out for this. I set in motion a goal and I had 100 days to do it. The Universe led me along the most challenging pathway I’ve ever been along. And although I know the heartache is not completely over, I am over the worst of it. I believe I’ve reached a tremendous milestone that was set forth in motion with the 100 Day Goal. Thank you Julia!- Veronica